Weight

Everyone at some point in their lives worries about their weight. I have been going through some weight issues for the past year and a half since I moved in with my boyfriend who is now my fiancee. Everything was and is great living together, we are a perfect match in all areas but one. Diet. I had been an extremely fit person and ate very well before we moved in and never ate fast food. Going out for for lunch dates can get expensive if you went out as much as we did so one day he suggested we go to Dairy Queen. My reaction was, "No I don't feel like ice cream for lunch". His reply was one I did not expect. "You know they have food there right?"

My world to fast food expanded and I began packing on the pounds. I gained 30lbs and did not even realize it until one day I went to put my skinny jeans on and they didn't fit quite right. Not only did my clothes not fit anymore but I started slacking in my appearance. My hair and make-up was always done to perfection but I found myself leaving my hair lay flat and just throwing on tinted moisturizer. To my fiancee I will always be beautiful(so he tells me) but I really did not feel like myself. I didn't wear pretty clothes anymore or make myself up to go out. I never left my house without make-up ever, but I found I didn't care anymore.

Now this was a good thing in one way but a bad thing in another. One good point was I didn't care what other's thought of my appearance as I once had, but I started not to care about what I thought of myself. My real eye opener was last summer when we had a pool party last year and I saw a picture of myself in a bikini afterwards. I started dieting right away and had no results and constantly was getting discouraged and would give up.

My best friend had a baby back in February and ended up being 5 pounds less than me just before she gave birth and it was like a slap in the face to what I was doing with myself. Now, I want to be clear, I am not huge and did not let myself totally go, but it felt like I had. After my friend had her baby she started this workout called 21 Day Fix and suggested I try it. She did three rounds of this work out and looks better than ever. So naturally I purchased the workout and started. I tried to do a round but life got in the way and I quit it. Two months ago I dug out the meal plan and the workouts and told myself to give it another shot.

From one round of 21 day fix I lost 5lbs and 12 inches of fat off of my body. It made me feel great to lose even the tiny bit of weight and have people notice that I had lost weight. Sad to say I haven't done another round yet but I am still on my path of weight loss and have another 25lbs to go before I am at my goal of my pre-Dave weight as I like to jokingly call it.

Thankfully since I started the weight loss I have been feeling more like me again and started doing my make-up and wearing clothes that I used to wear. Next weekend I am actually going river tubing with friends and will be wearing a bikini. I will be doing workouts every day, but I think its good for me to do this even though I am not 100% comfortable with my body. I want to gain my confidence back.

What motivated me to do this happened a week ago when Dave and I went to the beach with our dog. I saw a rather large woman in a bikini and the mean girl in me made some remarks in my head about her. Then I felt like an asshole and suddenly was jealous of this woman. I am half her size and I am not comfortable wearing shorts and a tank top. It wasn't right for me to judge this woman at all and began wondering how I would feel if people were judging me.

So next weekend I am rocking the bikini, though still working towards my weight loss goal. I hope one day I can feel at home in my body again and confident as the woman on the beach.

That's all for now!